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TEK VS COJAY

Battle Result

No Official Decision - LOTA Result; public by 2025-05-19

Clash Summary

TEK vs COJAY is introduced as another **offbeat battle** on PenGame. The host explains that the first offbeat battle went down well, so PenGame had to bring the format back. There are no beats in the normal sense, no official judging panel, and no winner announced at the end.

COJAY goes first.

COJAY opens with a highly technical first round aimed at TEK’s experience, battle history, nerves, cancellations and lack of progress. He says TEK has been around for six years but is still not improving, then uses tech-related wordplay around “Tech,” “textbook,” “Apple,” “Terminator 2,” “smoke alarm,” “Master Ball,” “Ash,” and “lease of life.” The round is clean, layered and very punch-heavy.

TEK responds by attacking COJAY’s gym image, chest size, weight, big-dinner persona and Jersey/Manchester identity. He uses Hunger Games and Mockingjay references, flips COJAY’s body size into “Mr Big Dinners,” and says he has unlimited rounds for him like a buffet. It is a solid response, but COJAY’s opener is sharper and more controlled.

COJAY’s second round is even stronger. He attacks TEK as the “face” of his league while only doing 300 views in a week, then flips “face” into Kool-Aid Man, iPhone, Voldemort, dots, open mic, 3310, Sherlock, poltergeist, bowl of rice and old-tech references. He also says TEK’s rookie image is insincere because TEK is older and more experienced than he presents himself. This is probably COJAY’s best round.

TEK’s second round is more energetic but less clean. He uses a Young Filly / case wordplay, slicing/chunks imagery, Pringli the Diva, Jersey heritage, London, Big Ben, O2, trappy street references and PTSD lines. There are good moments, but the round is looser than COJAY’s second.

COJAY’s third round attacks TEK’s intelligence and life choices. He says TEK was arrested by undercovers after believing obvious police were legitimate, then flips that into gullibility, Nigerian prince scams, burner messages, therapy, IQ, Central Cee, fixing up “tech,” Sora, Missy, Iron Man, Thanos and Stark difference references. It is another strong round, and it keeps the battle clearly in COJAY’s favour overall.

TEK’s third is his best round and his clearest personal attack. He admits he has flaws in delivery, then flips that into paramedics struggling to cut through COJAY’s material. He attacks COJAY’s dad-hat image, lack of kids, veteran status, alleged help with penmanship, and then brings a personal angle about COJAY allegedly taking another battler’s girl named Tory. He ends with the Victoria’s Secret line, which is his strongest punch of the battle.

There is no official winner. Based on the transcript, COJAY wins by Archive Judgement.

Performance Analysis

COJAY

COJAY wins because he has the cleaner writing and controls the first two rounds. His style is dense, but the punchlines connect and most of the schemes are clear. His first round sets the tone with layered “Tech” wordplay. He uses TEK’s name to build punch after punch: Apple, textbook, tech going off, Terminator 2, Ash, Master Ball and lease of life. It is focused and polished. His second round is the clearest winning round of the battle. The “face of the league” angle is strong because it attacks TEK’s platform status and numbers. COJAY then keeps flipping “face” and “tech” into multiple references without losing the thread. His third round is less instantly explosive than the second, but still strong. The undercover arrest/gullibility angle is funny and personal, and the “Stark difference” closer gives it a clean finish. COJAY’s biggest strength is punch density. He rarely lets a scheme sit without turning it into another bar.

Lyrical Themes: Tech wordplay, Apple, textbook, Terminator 2, Ash/Master Ball, smoke alarm, lease of life, face of the league, 300 views, Kool-Aid Man, iPhone, Voldemort, Nokia 3310, Sherlock, poltergeist, old tech, undercover arrest, Nigerian prince scam, Central Cee, Sora, Missy, Iron Man, Thanos, Stark difference.

TEK

TEK loses the battle but has a strong showing, especially in the third. His writing is less clean than COJAY’s, but he has moments where his personal angles bite. His first round focuses on COJAY’s gym image and body size. The “Mr Big Dinners” and buffet/Hunger Games section gives him a memorable theme, but the round does not match COJAY’s opening for structure. His second is energetic but scattered. The Young Filly case wordplay and London/Big Ben/O2 material show effort, but it does not land as cleanly as COJAY’s face/tech scheme. His third is where TEK levels up. The Tory/Victoria’s Secret angle is his strongest personal material and gives him a real round-winning case. The final section feels opponent-specific and damaging. TEK’s biggest strength is personal angle writing when he locks in. His weakness is cleanliness — some sections become harder to follow than COJAY’s.

Lyrical Themes: Gym/bench/reps, Mr Big Dinners, buffet, Hunger Games, Mockingjay, Sakamoto, PureGym, meal prep, big body/doorway, Young Filly case wordplay, Jersey/Manchester, London, Big Ben, O2, PTSD, hammer, veteran status, penmanship help, Tory angle, Dialed, Retch 32, Victoria’s Secret.

Key Technical Highlights

COJAY

Best round

Round two.

Strongest trait

Dense punchline writing.

Best angle

TEK is the “face” of a weak league with poor numbers.

Best technical section

Face / 300 views / Kool-Aid Man / iPhone / old-tech scheme.

Battle-winning factor

Cleaner first two rounds and stronger bar-for-bar consistency.

TEK

Best round

Round three.

Strongest trait

Personal angle writing.

Best angle

COJAY’s Tory / Victoria’s Secret situation.

Best technical section

Tory / Dialed / Retch 32 / Victoria’s Secret run.

Battle-losing factor

First two rounds are less polished than COJAY’s.

Indexed Bars & Breakdown

COJAY

Status

"You were here for six years, still working your grip."

COJAY opens by attacking TEK’s long presence with limited progression.

Critique

"I see him losing, he needs improvement, he’s getting worse at this shit."

A direct battle-career critique.

Wordplay

"I expected Tech to get further than this."

A tech/future-progress punch.

Reference

"Even Tech’s trying to kill Tech, like Terminator 2."

A Terminator 2 reference, using TEK’s name as technology destroying itself.

Reference

"Tech ain’t killing Connor, like Terminator 2."

Continues the Terminator scheme, with Connor as the target.

Wordplay

"If Tech’s Tech, then it comes from Apple, where he’s dropping shit."

An Apple/tech/productivity punch.

Critique

"You should be working on your whack rounds."

A direct writing critique.

Joke

"Tech’s going off like a smoke alarm — I’m Black, so to me it’s just chirping in the background."

A smoke-alarm/cultural joke that becomes a dismissal of TEK’s aggression.

Wordplay

"Split Tech in two."

A Tech/technology splitting punch.

Name Flip

"Turn Asher to Asher Roth."

A name/artist flip on TEK’s real or referenced name.

Reference

"I only need to throw once like a Master Ball."

A Pokémon/Master Ball reference.

Reference

"Ash got to catch them all."

Continues the Pokémon/Ash scheme.

Closer

"Now he’s gonna need a new lease of life."

A lease/life closer.

Setup

"Tech calls himself the face, because he’s the face of his league."

Sets up the whole second-round face angle.

Status

"His last battle did 300 views, not in a day, in a week."

A numbers/status punch.

Wordplay

"When he saw the 300, it really cut the face deep."

300 views becomes 300 Spartans/Xerxes imagery.

Reference

"I’ll put the face through a wall like the Kool-Aid Man."

Face/wall/Kool-Aid Man reference.

Wordplay

"I’m getting into it with the face like an iPhone."

Face ID / iPhone wordplay.

Reference

"Voldemort, I got the face in the back of the head."

A Harry Potter / Voldemort face-on-head reference.

Reference

"Like a 3310, I’ma break Tech without a phone in sight."

A Nokia 3310 / unbreakable phone / tech punch.

Wordplay

"That’s the thing about old tech, you gotta smack it to make the picture clear."

One of COJAY’s best name flips. Old technology needs hitting to work.

Setup

"Tech got arrested by undercovers."

The start of COJAY’s third-round gullibility angle.

Critique

"They ain’t exactly discreet."

He says TEK missed the obvious signs.

Joke

"He’s just waiting to hear back from that Nigerian prince."

A scam/gullibility punch.

Joke

"I messaged him off a burner, he’s convinced his cape lost."

A fake-message/scam line, though the transcript is rough.

Critique

"He gives ammo to his opps."

A strong critique: TEK exposes himself to opponents.

Critique

"Rapping rounds about his baby mama dramas — go to therapy."

A personal-life-in-battles critique.

Insult

"I am yet to see any evidence Tech can read."

A harsh intelligence insult.

Wordplay

"You gonna see Tech get fleeced like Central Cee."

A Central Cee / fleece wordplay.

Wordplay

"I gotta teach you how to fix up, Tech."

A fix-up/technology pun.

Reference

"Beat him with a key like Sora."

A Kingdom Hearts / Sora keyblade reference.

Reference

"Snapping like Iron Man when Thanos was caught slipping."

An Avengers / Infinity War reference.

Wordplay

"Tech don’t have his heart in this, and that’s the Stark difference."

A Tony Stark / heart / difference closer.

TEK

Rebuttal

"I don’t care how much you bench."

TEK opens by dismissing COJAY’s gym/body image.

Identity

"You better take that shit back to your homeland."

A background/nationality attack.

Wordplay

"You’re gonna have to head back."

A head-back/nosebleed/homecoming punch.

Critique

"Go ahead and show me what you’ve got and I’ll get you out of here quicker than a GSP audition."

A battle/tryout dismissal.

Appearance

"What do they call you, Mr Big Dinners?"

A body/food insult aimed at COJAY.

Wordplay

"I’ve got unlimited rounds for Mr Big Dinners — it’s a buffet."

A food/rounds wordplay.

Setup

"When it comes to rounds, it’s me who’s got the Hunger Games."

A Hunger Games setup.

Reference

"Today you’re catching fire."

A Catching Fire reference.

Reference

"Let’s start this off by Mockingjay."

A Mockingjay reference.

Contrast

"Me, I drop weight when it’s time for war."

A fitness/war contrast.

Reference

"Quicker than Sakamoto."

A Sakamoto Days-style reference.

Joke

"I don’t care if you and PureGym are in a relationship."

A gym obsession joke.

Appearance

"This big nigga probably wouldn’t even fit through a doorway."

A body-size insult.

Wordplay

"Catching the case while I’m on the case, like Young Filly."

A Young Filly / legal-case wordplay.

Violence

"Slice here and slice there, you’ll be missing chunks like Young Filly."

A violent Young Filly/chunks continuation.

Joke

"I got a big bitch for Mr Big Dinners, I call her Pringli the Diva."

A food/body/Pringli reference.

Identity

"Forget your Jersey heritage, you’re from Manny."

A background/location attack.

Appearance

"This Indian, Mexican, Puerto Rican looking nigga needs to slow down."

An ethnicity/appearance insult. Battle material.

Street

"This is London, where you can be free one second and next you can go bing."

A London/street-life line.

Reference

"You probably came to sight-see, Big Ben and the O2."

A tourist/London punch.

Street

"Round here it’s really trappy."

A street-environment claim.

Trauma

"PTSD weren’t part of the plan."

A trauma/violence line.

Rebuttal

"I got flaws, but paramedics are gonna have the same issue when they’re trying to cut through yours."

A strong self-aware rebuttal. TEK admits delivery flaws, then turns it into a violence punch.

Appearance

"How the fuck do you look like the best dad I’ve ever seen and you don’t even have any kids?"

A dad-hat/father-image punch.

Status

"This man is a bitch, known as a so-called veteran."

A veteran-status attack.

Accusation

"The man you banned really helped with the penmanship."

A strong writing-assistance accusation.

Contrast

"I upgraded on my own."

TEK contrasts his own growth with COJAY allegedly needing help.

Setup

"In my world of battle rap, this nigga’s known for stealing a bitch."

The start of the Tory/Dialed personal angle.

Setup

"Her name was Tory."

Sets up the political wordplay.

Wordplay

"Dialed didn’t talk up, so now it’s TEK’s time to get the message through."

A Dialed/message/TEK pun.

Wordplay

"You’re officially Retch 32."

A Wretch 32 / retch/disgust wordplay.

Wordplay

"Stole another man’s bitch, had her in her lingerie, but couldn’t keep Victoria’s Secret."

TEK’s best punch of the battle. Tory/Victoria/Victoria’s Secret ties the personal angle together.

Judgement Summary

COJAY wins

Archive result: COJAY wins. Archive score: COJAY 2-1 TEK. Suggested round split: Round 1: COJAY, Round 2: COJAY, Round 3: TEK / debatable. Reason: COJAY controls the battle early with cleaner writing and more consistent punch output. TEK finishes strongly, but the comeback starts too late. Performance Grades - COJAY: A-, TEK: B+. Final Note: TEK’s third made this competitive, but COJAY’s pen was sharper over the full battle. Another strong offbeat entry for PenGame.

Battle Stats

Date19-05-2025
Views23K
LeagueSeason 2025