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KANDI VS iiiBEREALZ

Battle Result

LOTA Result

Clash Summary

KANDI and iiiBEREALZ met in Champions League Fixture 3 at Boxpark Croydon. iiiBEREALZ won the coin toss and sent KANDI first. The upload closes with instructions to use the QR code and website, but no completed audience tally or declared winner is preserved. The result below is therefore an independent LOTA review.

KANDI's first began with bar one and bar two, words in his mouth like a cartoon, teachers marking iiiBEREALZ and yard food not making him Jamaican. He openly addressed coming from a good home, his mixed-race family arriving in the 1950s and building with white and Black bricks, then contrasted his owned four-bedroom home with the council-charmer insult. A cracker cracking a back like a physio led into Central Station, Twisted Metal and racing. KANDI invoked an Irish relative, the Armagh Brigade and car bombs, then moved through football passes, Pelé, Billy, demons, left and right, fitting twelve into thirty-five and fishing for iiiBEREALZ. Sound trouble forced a restart, but the completed round was substantial.

iiiBEREALZ's first built almost entirely around KANDI's name and image. Roman Reigns and SmackDown opened the verse before candy became sweet boy, toxic waste, Twizzlers, candy cane and KitKat. Internet wars, Smarties and a Jawbreaker extended the confectionery scheme. A Milkybar compared KANDI's family to whiteness; Evergreen and supposed killers attacked his music; a round box and putting him in a box moved into accusations about children and knowing the real man when cameras were off. A stripper name and collateral damage closed the round. The long, coherent name scheme gives iiiBEREALZ the first.

KANDI's second announced that he would perform like iiiBEREALZ. His damaged face became evidence of boxing experience, while his opponent's mouth was the only box he knew. Ducking, weaving and Custard Cream led into a cow's backside and mouth fart; armour, a controller and Tekken formed the central game sequence. Jonathan Ross and a speech-and-language therapist attacked iiiBEREALZ's delivery. Morgz at a PenGame event and bar, Stevie Wonder, evacuation, women and children, body-count ratios, a PC avatar and Avatar in his element followed. KANDI closed with Central, a gas pedal and heels, teams driving under the influence, Mayfair, beating a corpse like Claudia Winkleman and writing off more than a nan. It is his strongest and most varied round.

iiiBEREALZ's second accused KANDI of repeatedly calling men gay and projecting from the closet. Reaper, Midas touch, going viral, antivirus and stopping vitals drove the opening. He criticised KANDI for switching flow and cadence without connective tissue, then used Lion King and pride, being unrated by his mother and a childcare business that would not allow its own son around. Sunken eyes, dirty clothes and a heartbeat spelling a word in Morse code led into Haribo, Marlboro, ice and melting. The round is sharp, but KANDI's longer connected boxing and gaming passages take the second.

KANDI's third attacked iiiBEREALZ's partner, age, work and future. A drunken partner, a 4K scam picture, a window and pregnancy formed the opening personal. iiiBEREALZ being around thirty and a baker led into getting a case and Big Zuu. His mouth, tongue and military claims followed; KANDI then contrasted being remembered in ten years with not knowing who iiiBEREALZ was. Minimum wage, loading a car, ageing, children, Morley's and chasing rap became the career attack. A Black Panther and West Croydon Forever reference closed before two sticks, a smothering woman and pufferfish speech.

iiiBEREALZ's third returned to the opponent's name: KANDI became a feminine name, the Cavity Kid, yellow teeth and a refusal to floss. A full-body cast and compact car developed the body-bar idea. He spelled P-I-M-P and T-R-I-C-K, challenged KANDI's stutter, and converted Arsenal, gunner and PTSD into a shuddering gun sound. Parkinson's linked shaking with stealing flow or dance. Being above opponents became an eagle over Storm, an X-Men character; A, B and Lime became a cider reference before Black queen and candy reign closed the verse. The construction is clever, but it is less personal and consequential than KANDI's sustained attack on iiiBEREALZ's relationship, age, work and future.

LOTA scores KANDI 2-1. iiiBEREALZ takes round one through the sustained candy, confectionery and identity scheme. KANDI wins round two with the battle's best boxing, Tekken, Morgz, Stevie Wonder and Avatar sequence. KANDI takes round three through the more direct partner, pregnancy, age, career, ten-year-future and West Croydon writing.

Performance Analysis

KANDI

KANDI wins the LOTA review 2-1 and delivers the battle's strongest individual round in the second. His writing is autobiographical and confrontational in the first, then technically broader through boxing, gaming, television and film references in the second. Sound problems cost him the opener, but his third's partner, pregnancy, age, work and future angles are more direct and consequential than iiiBEREALZ's cleaner wordplay response.

Lyrical Themes: Bars, cartoons, teachers and marking; Jamaican identity and yard food; mixed-race family history; bricks, good homes and council housing; crackers and physiotherapy; Central Station, Twisted Metal and racing; Ireland, the Armagh Brigade and car bombs; football, Pelé and passing away; numbers and fishing; boxing, mouths, ducking and weaving; Custard Cream; cows and mouth farting; controllers and Tekken; Jonathan Ross and speech therapy; Morgz; Stevie Wonder; evacuation; body-count ratios; PCs and Avatar; Central, heels, driving under the influence and Mayfair; partners, pregnancy and 4K; baking and Big Zuu; age, memory, Morley's and Black Panther.

iiiBEREALZ

iiiBEREALZ loses the LOTA review 2-1. His structural clarity wins the first through a long confectionery attack on KANDI's name. The third links dental imagery, spelling, Arsenal, Parkinson's and X-Men references, but KANDI's opponent-specific relationship and career material has greater impact. His second is also shorter and less varied than KANDI's response.

Lyrical Themes: Roman Reigns and SmackDown; sweet boys, Toxic Waste, Twizzlers, candy cane, KitKat, Smarties, Jawbreakers and Milkybar; Evergreen, killers and cameras; boxes, children and stripper names; sexuality, projection and closets; the Reaper and Midas; viral clips, antivirus and vitals; flow, cadence and connective writing; Lion King and pride; mothers, childcare and safeguarding; Morse code; Haribo, Marlboro, ice and melting; Cavity Kid, yellow teeth and flossing; full-body casts and compact cars; PIMP and TRICK; stutters, Arsenal, gunners and PTSD; Parkinson's; eagles, Storm and X-Men; cider, Black queens and candy reign.

Key Technical Highlights

KANDI

Autobiographical class answer

KANDI answers assumptions about race and privilege through his family's 1950s arrival, mixed heritage, building work and owned home.

Boxing and Tekken sequence

A damaged face, ducking, weaving, a box in the mouth, armour, controllers and Tekken sustain a physical and gaming theme.

Morgz and Stevie run

Morgz at a PenGame event and bar leads into Stevie Wonder and evacuation, mixing names, actions and crowd-ready punchlines.

iiiBEREALZ

Confectionery name scheme

Sweet boy, Toxic Waste, Twizzlers, candy cane, KitKat, Smarties, Jawbreaker and Milkybar repeatedly turn KANDI's name against him.

Viral antivirus chain

A viral rap, antivirus, being sick and stopping vitals link internet success, software and illness.

Parkinson and Storm finish

Shaking, stealing flow or dance, an eagle above Storm and X-Men give the third a connected movement and superhero finish.

Indexed Bars & Breakdown

KANDI

Round 1 - Cartoon and teachers

"Bar one, bar two - trying to put words in my mouth like a cartoon; none of these men are teachers, explaining after they mark you."

Words in a cartoon character's mouth become teaching, marking work and explaining the result.

Round 1 - Mixed bricks

"Family came in the fifties, mixed race, they chopped bricks out of loads - had whites and Blacks."

White and Black describe race and types or colours of building material inside KANDI's family-history answer.

Round 1 - Council charmer

"We've got four beds that we own, so who's really the council charmer?"

KANDI answers a class assumption with home ownership and turns the council-housing insult back on iiiBEREALZ.

Round 1 - Physio

"This cracker cracks backs like physio - are you dizzy, bro?"

Cracker describes race and the act of cracking a back, which leads naturally to physiotherapy.

Round 1 - Armagh Brigade

"My cousin Tristan's in the Armagh Brigade - in Ireland it isn't fist fights, it's car bombs taking half your face."

The personal Irish reference escalates ordinary fighting into the history and imagery of car bombing.

Round 1 - Twelve into thirty-five

"Time for the maths - how do you fit twelve into thirty-five? iiiBEREALZ with four guys deep in his back."

A numerical setup becomes a sexual accusation based on the opponent's age and a group count.

Round 2 - Boxing mouth

"I've learned to duck and weave; you've never done boxing - the only box was in your mouth."

KANDI contrasts real boxing movement with a sexual use of box and mouth.

Round 2 - Tekken

"Armour won't save you when I connect like a controller and help you get Tekken."

Connecting a controller leads into Tekken, a fighting game whose title sounds like taken.

Round 2 - Jonathan Ross

"Even though I look like Jonathan Ross, he sounds like a speech-and-language therapist."

KANDI acknowledges an appearance comparison while redirecting speech difficulty toward iiiBEREALZ.

Round 2 - Morgz

"Pimp-slap man so bad, have you walking like Morgz at a PenGame event; juice man down like Morgz at a bar."

The repeated Morgz reference uses a known person and bar attendance to support physical and drinking meanings.

Round 2 - Stevie Wonder

"You look like Stevie Wonder - Stevie wonder why his mouth don't work."

The singer's name changes into the action of wondering, aimed at iiiBEREALZ's speech.

Round 2 - Avatar

"PC with a messed-up avatar - my Avatar's in his element for real."

A computer profile image becomes Avatar: The Last Airbender and its elemental powers.

Round 3 - Baker and Big Zuu

"You're about thirty and you're a baker - if you get a case, don't lie like Big Zuu."

Baking, a legal case and chef-presenter Big Zuu combine work, crime and television.

Round 3 - Ten years

"Difference between us in ten years: you'll tell your mates you know me, and I won't know who you are."

KANDI frames their projected careers as opposite trajectories of fame and obscurity.

Round 3 - Morley's

"You're pushing forty, your kids growing up, no dreams - Morley's."

Age, stalled ambition and the familiar chicken-shop reference compress the career attack.

Round 3 - West Croydon Forever

"You look like the lead in Black Panther 3 if he stood up and screamed, West Croydon forever."

Wakanda Forever is relocated to West Croydon for an appearance and local-area punchline.

iiiBEREALZ

Round 1 - Roman Reigns

"You're a crack-town Roman Reigns - this is your SmackDown."

Roman Reigns and WWE SmackDown convert appearance and confrontation into wrestling imagery.

Round 1 - Sweet boy

"Your name's KANDI, you're a sweet boy - Toxic Waste, Twizzlers and candy cane."

Multiple sweets and brands are stacked to turn KANDI's name into an identity attack.

Round 1 - KitKat

"In this galaxy, a KitKat won't take a break."

The KitKat slogan about taking a break becomes a refusal to pause the attack.

Round 1 - Smarties and Jawbreaker

"We're moving Smarties - really just a loser, and I'd be a Jawbreaker if you tried to chew her."

Smarties and Jawbreaker continue the confectionery scheme while chew makes the latter physical.

Round 1 - Milkybar

"You aren't Black - your family's whiter than a Milkybar."

White chocolate becomes a blunt challenge to KANDI's racial presentation.

Round 1 - Cameras off

"I know where your nest lays, so you lie in bars - I know who you are when the cameras are off."

Public battle performance is contrasted with the private person iiiBEREALZ claims to know.

Round 2 - Projection

"So many men you call gay, so many times you claim you're bad - you're projecting from a closet."

Repeated homophobic attacks are reframed as psychological projection and concealed sexuality.

Round 2 - Midas

"I'm the Reaper - everything I touch is Midas."

Death and the Midas touch combine destructive power with turning everything to gold.

Round 2 - Antivirus

"This rap went viral, it's antivirus - I'm so sick I'll stop your vitals."

Viral success, antivirus software, sickness and vital signs form one medical-computing chain.

Round 2 - Morse code

"Eyes sunk, dirty clothes - your heartbeat spells bitch in Morse code."

Heartbeats become dots and dashes capable of spelling an insult in Morse code.

Round 2 - Haribo and Marlboro

"KANDI in a pack like Haribo, smoke like Marlboro."

A bag of sweets and a cigarette pack combine KANDI's name with being packed and smoked.

Round 3 - Cavity Kid

"Why are you losing to a boy called KANDI, the Cavity Kid? Yellow teeth and KANDI don't floss."

Candy causing cavities becomes dental criticism through yellow teeth and flossing.

Round 3 - Compact

"Put you in a full-body cast so the body's compact - you talk compact but you're waiting on arms."

A compact body, compact car and waiting on weapons or limbs compress several meanings.

Round 3 - PIMP and TRICK

"You ain't no P-I-M-P in your mum's fur coat - you're a T-R-I-C-K."

Spelling slows the delivery to contrast the persona KANDI claims with the insult iiiBEREALZ assigns.

Round 3 - Parkinson's

"Your rap ringing was nasty, now you want a handshake - look up Parkinson's; I bet you steal my flow or dance."

Handshake becomes shaking hands, then Parkinson's movement supports the accusation of stealing flow or dance.

Round 3 - Storm and X-Men

"I'm above them all - you're below; I'm an eagle over Storm, an X-Man."

Being above the storm becomes flying over Storm, the weather-controlling X-Men character.

Clash Highlights

  • KANDI answers class and racial assumptions with a direct account of his mixed-race family history.
  • iiiBEREALZ sustains the candy-name scheme across most of his opening round.
  • KANDI's controller and Tekken line earns an immediate reaction.
  • The crowd wheels KANDI's Morgz and Stevie Wonder sequence.
  • KANDI's ten-year career projection and West Croydon Forever closer give his third the more personal impact.
  • iiiBEREALZ wins the toss and sends KANDI first.
  • KANDI's first is interrupted by low microphone volume and restarted from the opening.
  • KANDI's second receives several crowd-demanded reloads, including a passage he admits had only a fifty-fifty chance of working.
  • The transcript repeatedly hears iiiBEREALZ as IB RULES and KANDI as Candy.
  • Relapse and ANBU are called toward the stage during the final rounds.
  • The battle closes with football discussion and criticism of a German referee after the voting reminder.

Post-Battle Context

The host directs the room to the QR code and website after the battle. No vote count or official winner is announced in the preserved upload, so the archive records only the explicitly labelled independent LOTA decision.

Judgement Summary

KANDI wins 2-1 (LOTA Result)

iiiBEREALZ wins round one through the sustained KANDI-name and confectionery construction. KANDI takes round two with the broader and more effective boxing, Tekken, Morgz, Stevie Wonder and Avatar sequence. KANDI wins round three because the partner, pregnancy, age, career, ten-year-future and West Croydon material is more direct and consequential than iiiBEREALZ's cleaner but less personal wordplay.

Battle Stats

Date31-05-2026
Views93K
LeagueSeason Champions League